


Yokohama in late July

by ladyzeia



Series: Coast Guard / Open Water AU [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Japan Coast Guard, M/M, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 20:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15397134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyzeia/pseuds/ladyzeia
Summary: During their last summer of high school, Haru comes to visit Rin and his family in Yokohama, where Rin's dad is stationed with the Japan Coast Guard.  Not that Rin doesn't love (and miss) his friends, but it'sfinallyjust him and Haru...and his mom and dad and sister.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably make more sense if you read [Part 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321864) first.
> 
> I decided to set this in 2008 (which is a year late, I think, vs. canon, but reasons).
> 
> Chapter 1 is all fluff, but--fair warning--chapter 2 contains angst that is not fully resolved in this piece; to be addressed in Part 3 of this series.

Rin shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing at the Arrivals board for the zillionth time.  _Sapporo (CTS) JL592_ , it read, _Arrived_ —even three minutes early.  Honestly, how long did it take to walk through the fricking airport?  _Unless you got distracted by a water feature or something._

It was too easy to imagine—Haru following the signs to baggage claim only to stop dead in his tracks, hearing a tell-tale trickle of water.  Airport security would find him sitting in the fountain, wearing his blissful _I’m-in-water_ face.  Confused, they’d talk amongst themselves and probably call for backup, because nothing in the manual said what to do about a passenger _calmly_ sitting in the water fountain between _Sanrio_ and Duty Free in skin-tight jammers.

_Because you can’t tell me you didn’t wear those on the plane._

_Tch._   Rin thrust a hand through his hair, raking the chin-length strands back from his forehead.  _Come on, Haru.  Keep your clothes on and get the hell out here._   As passenger after passenger—notably _not_ Haru— exited into the Arrival Lobby, Rin smoothed an imaginary wrinkle from his V-neck, navy-blue T-shirt, twisted the woven leather bracelet around his left wrist, and tried not to fidget (epic fail) in the outfit he’d _picked out_ for coming to fetch Haru from the airport.

It hadn’t even been that long.  Two weeks (at most?) since they’d all been together in Tokyo at high school Nationals.  Sousuke’s Tokyo relay team had taken first place in the medley—to no one’s surprise—but Rin’s Yokohama team and Haru’s Sapporo team had been right behind, touching for second and third places, respectively.  Even Makoto and Nagisa’s Iwatobi team had put up a good showing, especially considering their flyer had barely two summers of swimming under his belt.  The free, though, belonged to Rin and Haru—the fifty all the way up to the fifteen hundred meter.  Gou’s camera was full of pictures of them side-eyeing each other with smiles and mock-glares, depending on who ended up on top of the podium.  …Not to mention all of the photos of the medalists posing together—with Rin’s arm permanently draped across Haru’s shoulders—and how embarrassing it was that he was gazing at Haru like a lovestruck schoolboy in at least half of the pictures. 

Because he totally, absolutely, was _not_ —

The frosted glass doors slid open and it only took a glimpse of familiar black hair for all of Rin’s musings to come to an abrupt halt, the giddiness surging up inside him while the excitement lodged firmly in his throat.  If not for the crowded airport lobby and the watchful eyes of airport security, he would’ve tackled Haru to the floor.

Haru came out in a pale blue T-shirt with yet another ridiculous character on the front, black trousers, and red athletic shoes.  The strap of his duffle bag was slung across his chest and he was holding it with his right hand.  Rin’s heart leapt at the sight of the matching bracelet on Haru’s wrist—matching except that Rin’s had a shark on it and Haru’s had a dolphin.  Every time his silly aquarium gift shop buy / impulse Christmas present made an appearance, it never failed to melt him inside.  (Rin had been to—had dragged his family to—a lot of aquariums since leaving Iwatobi, definitely for no reason at all.  And he certainly hadn’t wrapped the gift with excruciating care and fretted every hour, on the hour, after putting it in the mail to Hokkaido until Haru had received it.)

He’d been fifteen at the time.  Now, at seventeen, he was much more cool and collected and adult. 

“Yo, Haru.”  Rin waved, wholly in control of himself like any respectable high school third year on the cusp of university (Coast Guard _Academy_ , at that).

Blue eyes found him, Haru’s face lighting up with a smile—

Ah, _hell_.  Rin managed to get there without breaking into a run or leaping over suitcases.  The two-second hug he allowed himself was warm, tight, chlorine-scented, and _far_ too brief, but they were already gaining the attention of those around them as they parted.  He rubbed the back of his neck, the blush burning beneath his skin.  “Let’s, uh, get out of here, huh?”

Haru’s eyes sparkled.  “It’s good to see you too, Rin.”

“Shut up, Haru.”  Rin slung his arm around Haru’s shoulders, turning his back on those who were watching.  “Or I’ll princess-carry you to the train.”  _Even with an audience._

Haru, still smiling, hummed in amusement as they headed towards the escalator.

-x-

It took forty minutes by train, first on the Keikyu Line to Yokohama Station and then on the Sotetsu Line to Hoshikawa.  They got seats on the first train and stood together in a packed car on the second.  The whole time, whenever their arms brushed or a change in momentum had them bumping into each other, Rin had repeated _pinch-me-I’m-dreaming_ moments.  It didn’t seem real that Haru was here—with warmth in his eyes and his ever-present calm, catching Rin’s arm to steady him during a particularly good jolt.

There’d been school breaks before, in addition to the swim meets—their ski vacation in Hokkaido last Christmas came to mind, when Nagisa dressed up as Santa and chased everyone around the ski lodge with mistletoe.  But it had always been the four of them, sometimes plus Gou, Sousuke, and Ryugazaki too.  This was the first time it was just Haru— _for two whole weeks_ in the height and heat of summer.  Finally, they would have some time to themselves.

… _Sort of._

“My old man filled the fridge with fresh saba.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  “Have I mentioned how much I love your family?”

Rin broke into a smile.  Haru’s saba eyes were almost as good as his pool eyes.  And having them directed at him?  Rin kind of lived for it.

-x-

The apartment building was a couple blocks from Hoshikawa Station—gray, L-shaped, fourteen stories surrounded by meticulously trimmed shrubs and trees spreading limbs laden with broad, green leaves over the walkways.  Rin led the way in through the lobby to the elevators.

As they rode up to the tenth floor, he rubbed the back of his neck.  “Uh…you can have the tatami room or my room and I’ll take the other.”  He avoided meeting Haru’s gaze, heat creeping back into his cheeks.

“No bed-sharing, hm?”  Haru’s words were warm with mirth.  “Like when we were kids.”

Rin folded his arms, full-on blushing now.  “My parents said I have to set a good example for Gou.”

Soft laughter hit his ears.

“What?”  Rin glared at Haru.  “Why’s that funny?”

“It’s not; it’s just…”  Haru coughed into his hand, smiling at him.  “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

_Damnit, Haru._

“I feel like you’d spontaneously combust if I even suggested we cuddle a little.”

Rin’s face caught _fire_ at the thought, though he didn’t bother denying what Haru said.  It wasn’t like he didn’t wonder about, er, _that stuff_ —it was totally normal to think about it (sometimes a lot) at his age, right?  But his bedroom shared a wall with Gou’s and a balcony with his parents’ and there was no way in hell he was doing anything within their earshot and certainly not for his first time.  Plus, when he turned thirteen, his parents sat him down at the dinner table for the safe sex talk which included making him practice putting a condom on a banana (were they _trying_ to scar him for life??).  He could appreciate that his parents were a lot more open, forthright, and available for questions compared to other parents he knew, but he still hadn’t been able to look at a banana since.

Rin grunted and captured Haru’s hand, just to make a point (even if Haru was right). 

Haru’s eyes went wide at the touch, his cheeks flushing pink.  He pressed his lips, saying nothing as the elevator slowly came to a stop with a two-tone chime.

Rin savored every bit of his revenge.

-x-

“Tadaima.”  Rin toed off his shoes in the entryway, holding the door for Haru.

“Okaeri!”  His mom’s voice came from the left end of the hallway, from the direction of the living/dining room.  She joined them a second later, a red pen tucked behind her ear—probably in the middle of grading summer school papers, clad in a white and yellow striped T-shirt and navy-blue capris.  “Haruka!”  Miyako captured Haru in a brief hug, smiling broadly as she lightly patted his cheeks.  “You look well.  How was your flight?”

“It was good,” Haru said.  “Thanks for letting me stay here, Auntie Miya.  I brought…”  He produced two flat boxes from his bag—chocolates from his dad’s workplace; Miyako and Gou’s favorite kind.

“Oh, tell your parents they don’t have to keep doing this.  You’re family, you know?  Be sure to thank them for us.”

“Ah.”  Haru nodded.

“Please come in.  Make yourself at home.”  She drew him down the hall into the sunny living room, Rin trailing behind.  The six-mat tatami room was off to the left with windows out to the balcony.  “Rin explained the sleeping arrangements, right?  I hope you’ll excuse our presumptions on this, but Toraichi and I discussed it.  At your age we really wouldn’t have concerns, but with Gou in the house, we felt it best to be proper.”

_Ugh, Mom_ …  Rin fought the urge to face palm, his cheeks growing hot.

“Soon enough, you’ll both be off to college, making your own decisions about things.  We really only have a few months left to parent you, so.”  She smiled, faintly misty-eyed.

“It’s OK, Auntie Miya,” Haru said, setting his duffle bag down in the tatami room.  “Our relationship is completely pure and wholesome.”

A strangled noise slipped out of Rin’s throat, which was better than the string of expletives forming in his head.  _Oh God, can I melt into the floor and die now?_

Miyako sighed happily, resting her hands on Haru’s shoulders.  “Haruka, you are too precious.”

Haru looked pleased.

_Of course_.  Rin just stood there, expecting his face to ignite at any moment.

“Are you boys hungry?” his mom asked, leaving them for the kitchen.  “Toraichi won’t be back until late, so dinner will be a while from now.”

Rin glanced at Haru, who shook his head.  “Mom, I think we’ll go swimming.”

Haru instantly perked up.

“OK.”  Miyako poked her head out of the kitchen.  “Make sure to check in periodically, alright?”  She returned to the table and her various stacks of papers.

Rin edged farther into the tatami room as Haru knelt down and opened his bag.  “Pool or beach?  The beach is about an hour away, but—”

Haru already had sunglasses and a towel in hand.  “Definitely beach.”

Rin smiled.  “Do you need to change?”

“Nope.”

_Didn’t think so._   “OK, let me just—”

-x-

Yuigahama beach was hot, breezy, and crowded, though not as bad as Daiba would’ve been.  The deep strip of coarse sand was bordered by beach clubs and cafés, with a few resorts and apartment buildings mixed in.  The bay was hugged on either side by rolling emerald hills, with a marina to the east.  Off in the distance, a cluster of sailboats trekked across the horizon.  Blue and white umbrellas from various rental companies dotted the beach between sunbathers laid out on lounge chairs or blankets. 

Rin and Haru stuffed their clothes and wallets into a locker, carrying their towels down to the water’s edge.  The surf crashed rhythmically upon the shore in long, sun-gilded waves. 

“It’s a little over a kilometer, from there to there.”  Rin pointed out red buoys, bobbing in the sea beyond most of the swimmers.

Haru stretched his arms over his head, his traps and triceps flexing in the sunlight.  “Sounds like a good warm up.”

Rin donned his goggles, flashing a grin as the excitement built inside him to a steady hum.  _My thoughts exactly._   “Race you.”

Dropping their towels to the sand, they sprinted towards the waves…

Somehow, the water never felt as good as it did when Haru was beside him.  They paced each other in the cool, turquoise sea, swimming side-by-side—occasionally knocking elbows and often locking eyes as they breathed.  The buoys marked their laps as they fought to overtake one another during the turns, only to lose the lead on the straightaway as they chased each other down.  The thrill of swimming with Haru was like nothing else; it was more than just the exercise that had Rin’s heart beating fast.  The matching look in Haru’s gaze made it even better.

Rin was gloriously exhausted by the time they dragged themselves from the water, collapsing breathlessly onto their towels as the breeze cooled their heated bodies.

“Was that six or eight?” Haru asked, one arm flung over his head.

“Eight…  I think.”  He honestly couldn’t be sure he’d counted right in the end.

“Mm.  No wonder I’m hungry.”

“We can grab a snack.”  Rin tilted his head back, studying the shops up the beach.

“In a minute,” Haru murmured, closing his eyes.  “Once I can move again.”

Rin hummed in agreement, letting his eyes drift shut.

-x-

It was evening before they headed back, pleasantly drowsy from the sun and time spent in the sea.  Haru napped on his shoulder on the train ride home, using a folded towel for a pillow.  Rin liked it more than he was embarrassed, ignoring the few looks they got as he pretended to be engrossed in his phone.  He did, at least, message his mom with their ETA.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect, Rin resolutely ignoring the small voice inside that asked, _But what about…?_   Yeah, it was a conversation they needed to have, but not now.  Rin turned his head as Haru shifted, towel and black hair like silk brushing against his cheek.  _Not now._

-x-

Rin’s dad put them to work as soon as they stepped through the door—Rin slicing vegetables and whisking together a light shoyu-based dressing for a salad while Haru worked shoulder-to-shoulder with Toraichi, filleting fresh mackerel.  Gou squeezed between them in the narrow kitchen, grabbing plates and glasses for the table.

“Haruka!  You could teach Rin a thing or two.  Look at those perfect fillets!” 

Rin exaggerated a sigh at his father’s praise.  _I can fillet a fish just fine._

“Rin doesn’t like fish, so…”

_Tch_.  He shot a glare over his shoulder, his cheeks warming as he met Haru’s smirk.

Toraichi laughed.  “Well, we ate pretty much nothing else for the first decade of his life, so I can’t really blame him.”

Haru inhaled.  “That sounds amazing.”

Rin rolled his eyes, turning back to the salad.

“Gou, did you remember to get the miso I asked for?”  Miyako peeked into the shopping bag on the counter beside Rin, near the doorway to the kitchen.

“Oh, uh—”  Gou flew back to the kitchen, her ponytail fanned out behind her.  “I was going to—”  Her face turned bright pink as their mom pulled not miso but a _magazine_ out of the bag.

Rin caught a glimpse of muscles on the cover and not much in the way of clothes.

“Young lady, what is this?”

“It’s research for the swim team,” Gou said, her cheeks steadily growing redder. 

Rin pressed his lips, trying not to laugh.  It was true that, as one of the managers of their high school swim team, Gou had a variety of duties.  Her self-proclaimed ‘muscle-caretaker’ title though…

Toraichi leaned over his wife’s shoulder.  “ _Muscles Monthly: Beijing Edition_ , huh?”

“Olympic muscles are important!  And they’re not naked!”

Rin’s parents exchanged a long glance, just to draw out Gou’s mortification most likely.  In the end, Miyako handed over the magazine.

Flushed scarlet, Gou clutched the periodical in both hands and scampered from the room.

“This is your fault,” Miyako said, giving her husband a mild look as she unloaded the groceries from the bag.  “Sydney…Athens…  All of your ‘name that muscle group’ nonsense while watching.”

“I was trying to make it educational!  Besides,” Rin’s dad lowered his voice, “I’m not sure I can take _all_ the blame when back in college, you and the other girls—”

“Tora!”  She smacked him in the arm and left the kitchen, Toraichi trailing after her, laughing.

“Mi _ya_ …”

Rin grimaced appropriately for his age at the sound of his parents embracing out of view.  But he treasured their happiness, their good-natured teasing, the lightness of their home.  Even ten years later, it still hit him sometimes—how it almost _wasn’t_.  How it all almost ended that day—in rain and gray and words fading into silence, words he couldn’t unhear. 

The storm—the hours that his entire world lay in ruins—remained a persistent feature of his nightmares.  It helped him never take the little things for granted—just like the next morning when the sun rose and he was pressed against his father’s side, his nose buried in fabric that still smelled like fish and the sea.  –When he’d cried and thanked God through his tears that his father being alive wasn’t just a dream.

A warm body leaned against his, Haru resting his chin on Rin’s shoulder.  “Your parents are cute,” he murmured.

Rin smiled, inhaling a little.  “Yeah.”

-x-

Haru was still lazing about in the ofuro as Rin laid out the futon in the tatami room.  As their guest, Haru should’ve taken the first bath, but of course he insisted on being last so no one would have to wait on him.  No doubt Rin would find him there again in the morning before the rest of them woke up.

He finished arranging the blankets and pillow, the window cracked to let in the cool night breeze.  Rin’s hair was almost dry by the time Haru came out—still in his jammers, rubbing his hair with a towel.

“Rin, thanks.”

“Sure.”  Rin straightened, leaning against the wall as Haru rummaged around in his duffle bag, pulling out a T-shirt and a clean pair of underwear.  “You hardly packed any clothes.”  He politely averted his eyes as Haru changed—nothing he hadn’t seen in locker rooms before, but still. 

“I packed the basics.”  By that, Haru meant swimsuits.  “I figured I can raid your closet if I need to.”

Rin smiled, liking the thought of Haru in his clothes—a lot.  “Anytime.”

Dressed, Haru came over, laying one hand on Rin’s right hip, warm through the fabric of his tank top and sleep pants.  “Let’s do 10k tomorrow.  Twice.”

The anticipation lit inside him like a firework, Rin twisting his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “I love it when you talk swimming to me.”  His heart started to pound as he pulled Haru close.  “Kiss me goodnight?”

Haru’s eyes softened, Rin waiting without breathing as Haru leaned in, letting his eyelids fall.

The touch, when it came, was pliant and patient, matchlessly tender with the give of their lips and the gentle hint of the muscle and tension beneath.  Honestly, he could live his life kissing Haru…swimming with Haru.  Air was such a silly commodity, really.

They were stretching the definition of a goodnight kiss when they finally parted, Rin tasting Haru on his lips and not letting go just yet.  His face was hot and probably the same shade of pink as Haru’s.  He _should_ go to bed—any minute now one of his parents or Gou might come down the hall, needing water or something.  It was late enough that he was out of good excuses. 

But just _one_ more…

Haru’s eyes shimmered, as if reading Rin’s thoughts.  Arms wrapped tight around Rin’s waist—

The second kiss was different—firm and insistent, Rin’s breath catching in his throat.  It was only three heartbeats before Haru drew back, Rin left with his chest heaving, trying in vain to pull air into his lungs.

Haru looked sheepish but undeniably happy as he gave Rin a little push towards the doorway.  “Go.  Before we get in trouble.”

Rin managed a grunt, glaring at the mirth in Haru’s eyes as he gripped the towel at his neck and turned away.  “‘Night,” he muttered.

Haru’s quiet, “Goodnight, Rin,” followed him through the living room and down the hallway.

At the end of the hall, Rin headed through the door on the right, closing it firmly behind him—knowing his parents would be listening for him to go to bed.  Leaving the lights off, he stretched out on top of the covers of his twin bed—heart still racing, nerves tingling—and wondered how in the hell he was supposed to sleep when he was _this_ in love with Nanase Haruka.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

_“Rin-chan and Sou-chan are going to Coast Guard flight school and Mako-chan’s going to college here in Tokyo.”  Nagisa hopped along beside them, way too energetic for being full of their celebratory dinner following the final night of Nationals.  “But what about Haru-chan?”_

_Rin tensed at the question, his hands curling in the pockets of his warmup pants.  The topic had to come up eventually—Haru couldn’t ignore it forever.  It was Haru’s decision—not his—yet he couldn’t help the knot that formed in his stomach, thinking of the packet of information he’d carefully assembled and sent to Hokkaido months ago.  When Rin asked if it had arrived, Haru texted back, [I got it.]  They hadn’t spoken a single word about the subject since._

_Rin didn’t look over; he kept walking straight ahead, but his ears were open to even the slightest noise from beside him.  He caught himself not even breathing as he waited._

_There was a long pause before Haru replied.  His voice, in the end, was quiet and reserved.  “I don’t know yet.”_

* * *

The sun was sinking steadily to the west of them, behind Cosmoworld’s giant ferris wheel and the Cup Noodles Museum as they strolled along the pier.  A gentle breeze rippled the waters of Yokohama Port, the sail-shaped Yokohama Grand InterContinental Hotel painted in hues of blush on their left; ships lining the harbor in front of them.  Rin and Haru carried a few small shopping bags, each.  It had taken all day to find the right omiyage for Haru to take back to his parents and teammates in Sapporo.  Rin hadn’t bothered trying to rush him.  Haru needed time to decide on things, whether it was which swimsuit to wear, which color handkerchief to buy for his mom…or which college to attend next year.

Rin knew that, kicking the cement tiles beneath his feet with the toe of his sneaker as the wind sifted through his hair and across his T-shirt.  He wouldn’t rush Haru; he wouldn’t push him to decide.  …Even if today was Thursday and Haru was flying home to Hokkaido in the morning.

“Is that your dad’s ship?”

The question startled him, Rin blinking as he lifted his head.  The pier jutted out into the sea ahead of them, the Japanese flag flying beside the Coast Guard flag in front of the Yokohama Coast Guard Station buildings.  The 3500-ton patrol ship _Izu_ _PL-31_ was docked along the pier in the distance, her white hull reflecting the red and gold of the sky.

“Ah.”  They came to a stop against the rail.  _I didn’t mean to bring us here.  Did I do it subconsciously?_   “She’s a ‘disaster response type,’ built after the earthquake in ‘95.  I’ve gotten the tour before with my dad.  It’s a huge ship.”  _It’s my dream to serve on a ship like that someday._   He pressed his lips, swallowing the question down for the hundredth time.

Haru leaned on the railing beside him, their arms brushing.  “You haven’t brought it up once.”  Haru wasn’t talking about the ship.  “Not since I’ve been here.”

Rin sighed, closing his eyes briefly.  “I was trying not to.”  He managed a smile, glancing at Haru beside him—Haru who was wearing a red V-neck T-shirt of Rin’s, his face guarded.  “I knew it was a long shot from the beginning.  But I couldn’t not ask, all the same.”  Rin bit his lower lip, turning his gaze again to the port.  “We used to visit the Coast Guard Station in Tottori, after my dad was rescued.  Meeting the officers, watching them work together…  Sailing, flying, swimming, helping people, saving lives…  It’s the ultimate team, Haru.  Of course I want you with me.”  He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly into the silence between them.  “But if you don’t want to, I get it.”  _I was never expecting a yes, to be honest_.  “It’s not a deal breaker.”

After another wordless stretch of heartbeats, Rin looked over.

Haru’s face had clouded.  With one hand, he gripped the rail.  “I did…consider it, Rin.”

Rin’s eyes went wide, his heart pounding in his chest.

“I can’t say there isn’t something…appealing about it.  –Being at sea, helping people on the water, swimming for something more than just swimming.”

 _But._   Rin clamped down on his questions, forcing himself to wait, just trying to breathe.

“It’s just that…”  Haru exhaled in a sigh.  “I couldn’t handle being told what to do all the time.  Someone telling me how to live my life.”

 _Our coaches do it constantly._   “Organization and discipline are kind of necessary for—”  Rin cut himself off.  “Never mind.”  There was no use arguing about it.  _I promised I wouldn’t push._   “Did you decide what you’re gonna do instead?”

Haru seemed to hesitate, turning towards him from the rail.  “I got contacted by a few scouts after Nationals.”

Rin smiled, though it came with a knot in his stomach.  He’d gotten the calls too.  “That’s great, Haru.  Did you pick one?”

“Not yet.  There are a couple in Tokyo.  My parents are going to take me to visit next month.”

“That’d be great if you can be near Makoto.”  Rin meant what he said.  Getting to reconnect with Sousuke during his time in Yokohama had been huge for him.  Haru deserved the same with his best friend. 

“Rin.”

“Hm?”

“Are you really giving up competing?”

There it was—he felt it in his stomach as much as he heard it in Haru’s words.  A familiar ache settled in his chest, arguments he’d had with himself too many times.  “I just think…the time commitment would be hard.”  Rin looked out at the ship.  “If I’m gonna do this, I think I need to give it everything.”  _It’s not like medals matter when lives are on the line._

It was hard to ignore the way the ache deepened as he said the words, but it subsided after a bit.  He only had to think of his dad, standing on the deck of that Coast Guard ship, wrapped in a blanket, to find his resolve again.

“It’s OK, Haru.”  Even if their career paths were diverging, it wasn’t a big deal.  “We can still—”

“Would it be easier if we weren’t?”

The quiet murmur swept the world out from under Rin’s feet.  He could only stare, not breathing, as the breeze carded through the glossy black of Haru’s hair, Haru’s blue eyes fixed on the water.

“Everyone says college is where life really starts, where you form the relationships you’ll have for the rest of your life.  …Where you grow up and find out who you really are; what you really want.”

_Who the fuck is ‘everyone?’_

“If you…”  Haru’s voice dropped to a whisper, barely audible above the sounds of the port around them.  “…meet someone.  I don’t want you to feel like I’m this weight, hundreds of kilometers away, holding you back, tying you down.”

Rin clutched the handles of his shopping bags, the cords digging into his palm. 

Haru’s hand went slack against the rail, falling to his side.  “Just if.”

Rin sucked air, the emotion—the words—rising in his chest.  It all pushed him forward until Haru’s back was against the rail, their faces a mere two centimeters apart, a fistful of the red T-shirt twisting in his grasp.  “ _Haru_ —”

“Mommy, are those boys fighting?”

The little girl was maybe ten steps away, a blue balloon on a long ribbon tied to her wrist.  She was in the care of two adults who glanced at them and immediately steered the child away.

Rin let go, swallowing hard to keep himself under control.  “Come on,” he muttered, taking Haru’s arm and drawing him from the rail.

-x-

As captain of his high school’s swim team, Rin had keys to the pool.  The natatorium was deserted when they entered, twenty-five meters and six lanes of water shimmering in the moonlight under the domed glass roof.  Flags of various countries were strung overhead, whites looking bluish with the lights off.  They took lanes three and four, dropping their bags and their clothes on the pool deck.

“Fifteen hundred,” Rin said, climbing onto the block in his jammers and snapping the strap of his goggles.  Other guys his age probably had condoms in their wallets; he carried goggles in his pocket whenever Haru was around.  “Unless you’re _tired_.”  The words came out with acid and Rin didn’t bother to soften it.

Haru settled his own goggles over his eyes, his frame taut, jaw flexing.  “Leaving on the top?”

They bent to grasp the blocks, watching the hand on the pace clock swing towards vertical.  “Ready—”

In unison, they plunged into cool water.  Rin went out hard from the start, which was a stupid thing to do in a distance race, but he couldn’t do anything less.  The adrenaline was coursing through his body, fueled by the emotions burning beneath his skin and in his heart.  His hands sliced into the water, each pull raking bubbles down his sides as Haru’s waves washed over him from the next lane.  The sting in his eyes had nothing to do with the chlorine. 

Turn after turn, lap after lap—they pushed off, surged forward, surfaced together.  Neither of them faltered or fell behind.  They were matched from the start, building their speed from the first stroke to an all-out sprint for the final hundred meters.  Fifteen minutes, sixty lengths—they slapped hands against the wall, fighting for breath as the water crashed into their shoulders.  Every muscle in Rin’s body was screaming, but none so loud as his heart.

Tearing off his goggles, he reached over the line, snagging the strap at Haru’s throat.  The kiss was hard enough to bruise, the plastic line trapped beneath and between them.

It didn’t last, as breathless as they were.  Rin glared into blue eyes, still gripping the strap of Haru’s goggles in a white-knuckled grasp.  “Tell me you _don’t_ want us.  Tell me you _don’t_ want to try.”  His vision blurred with angry tears—marring the image of Haru’s face, of the glistening droplets falling from black hair to slide down his cheeks.  “Say it if you mean it.  But _don’t play fucking ‘if’ with me!_ ”

His words echoed in the vacant natatorium, reverberating off glass and water and finally fading into a silence broken only by their labored breathing and the water rippling at their shoulders... 

Shaking fingers covered Rin’s.  “I can’t.”  Haru’s voice wavered, thick with emotion.  “You know I can’t, Rin.”  Haru leaned their foreheads together, the warmth of his tears falling onto Rin’s face.  “ _You know I want everything with you_.”

Rin’s lungs emptied.  “ _Idiot_ ,” he whispered, launching himself over the line.

They sank underwater, arms winding around each other, lips meeting.  The kiss lasted long seconds, their bodies pressed tight, until the burning in Rin’s lungs meant they had to come up for air.

They surfaced, still holding each other.  Rin buried his face in Haru’s throat, crying even harder as the relief rose up inside him.  “Idiot.”  He punched Haru in the shoulder, half-heartedly.  “You know I love you, right?”

Haru gasped softly in his arms.  “It’s the first time you’ve said.”

“It is not!”  Haru was right; Rin just didn’t want to admit that the first time he said it, he was pissed off and crying in a pool.

Haru nuzzled the side of his head, his exhale stirring Rin’s wet hair.  “I love you too, Rin.”

Rin choked back a sob, his heart shattered and soaring at the same time.  Their next kiss tasted more like tears than chlorine.

-x-

It was well after midnight by the time they got back to the apartment building, their faces raw from crying and hair damp from the pool.  Rin’s dad was still awake when they came in the door. 

Toraichi studied them silently, his gaze landing for a beat on their tightly clasped hands.  “Are you boys alright?”

“Hai,” Rin said, meeting his father’s eyes.  He waited, like the pre-cadet he was, for his reprimand, though he didn’t let go of Haru’s hand.

“Yes, sir,” Haru said, dipping his head.

Whatever Toraichi saw made him remove his glasses and sigh.  He rubbed his eyes.  “Just be up before your sister.  Goodnight, Rin, Haruka.”  Rin’s dad retreated down the hall towards the bedrooms, leaving them with a wave.

Rin and Haru wasted no time quietly washing up for bed and laying out the futon in the tatami room. 

Haru settled beneath the blankets in another borrowed T-shirt and scooted over to make space.  Rin’s face was hot as he slipped under the covers and into Haru’s arms.  Sharing a pillow, they brushed hair from each other’s cheeks, noses bumping in the dark room.

“I said you’d blush.”

“Shut up, Haru.”

It barely took minutes for the emotion and fatigue and _warmth_ to drag them under.

-x-

The Departures board read _12:30 Sapporo (CTS) JL515 Gate 18 On-time_.  Haru covered his mouth to stifle yet another yawn, Rin clucking his tongue as they stood beside the line for security.

“You’re not still tired.  It’s noon.”

Haru dropped his hand, smiling.  “Nah, just hoping you’ll take pity on me and take me back to bed.”

“Haru!”  Rin’s voice came out in a strangled whisper, his face instantly burning.

Haru laughed softly and wrapped him up in a quick hug.  “See you, Rin.”

Rin looped his arms around Haru’s shoulders and squeezed hard, not giving a damn about the looks they got.  “Yeah.  Safe flight.”

The reluctance was plain on Haru’s face as he pulled away, heading for the security line with one hand gripping his duffle bag, the dolphin bracelet on his wrist.  He gave Rin a little wave.

Rin waved back.  He stood there for a few minutes longer as people filled in between them, until the line moved Haru out of view.

With a heavy sigh, Rin finally turned away, shoving his hands into his pockets as he started to leave the departure lobby.

He’d gotten halfway to the escalator when the phone buzzed in his back pocket.  Rin moved out of the flow of traffic to fish out the device and flick it open.

_[Love you.]_

Rin’s heart melted, his eyes warm as he tapped out his reply.  _[Love you too, Haru.]_


End file.
